Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right. It's gonna be a good day. Welcome to Lead with heart on Now Media TV. I am your host, Dr. Jesse Hansen. I am here at the spectacular Hotel 360 in Ojochao, Costa Rica. So let's go check it out. Some of the most unique architecture you're going to see. This is where the rains drip down and create a nice atmosphere. So, like, work with nature. Boutique hotel where we got 12 rooms private, so we can connect to the mountain and the beach at the same time. As you can see, we got an amazing view from here. Come on, we're gonna ch of these spectacular rooms. Incredible. The bed is super nice. However, I am called right away to check out out here.
Absolutely incredible nature. Peaceful, quiet. Quiet. It's called Hotel360 because of the amazing panoramic view, which. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So why don't you go over here where you can look at it? A little bit of the view. Yeah. So we got Canyo island deeper over here and Corco. Those are two national parks when you can find a lot of different animals. And yeah, this pool is just spectacular. It goes all the way around. That's the restaurant. We got the bar here. We got our waitress Sophia, over there. Hola.
Well, thank you so much, Steven. Awesome tour. Thanks for letting us be here today. So this is the tour of Hotel360. And I chose to shoot here today not because just it is so beautiful. And obviously that's beautiful to share that and look at the amazing nature of Costa Rica. As a psychologist and a retreat facilitator, I know that the set and setting matter, this open ambiance, this beautiful nature, this setting, this space is going to help them open up even deeper and find even deeper parts of their authenticity. So we can all keep leading with Heart. So stay tuned for more here on Now Media TV with Lead with Heart. I'm Dr. Jesse Hansen. Pura Vida.
Welcome to Lead with heart. I'm Dr. Jesse Hanson. And today we explore the essence of leadership beyond strategy and status. You're watching NOW Media Television.
Hello and welcome to Lead with Heart, the show where strategy meets soul.
Today's show, I'm joined by Alyssa Stephenson. And this show is not just about healing. It's about personal healing. It's about understanding her journey of becoming who she is. So today I'm going to dive deeper with Alyssa, who's the founder of Body Wisdom Rising. She's a somatic facilitator and a feminine leadership guide. She leads a global community of over 48,000 women, and she hosts a top 5% globally marked podcast dedicated to transforming generational pain into grounded power and purpose. Alyssa, so happy to have you here. So honored I've been able to witness your journey the last few years and just to see how much you are stepping up into leading with heart, into embodiment, into looking at. Even though you were already in a healer role when I met you, I've seen you just rise so much. Not only just what your brand and professionalism looks like, but as a person which matters most. So thank you for being here.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: Well, thank you. Thank you so much for that and any chance, of course, to escape to beautiful Costa Rica and escape our Canadian winters. And yeah, you know, it's still pretty surreal to be even in the position that I am in today, like doing this work.
So just full of gratitude for the life that I'm living today. And it's really this work, you know, like, you know, that really helped me be able to really step into being in a role of service.
And you know, any true healer continues to do their own work, right? Like it's so important in this space.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: It's never done. The work is never done. Right. There are upgrades on the path, thank goodness. It can get easier or less suffering. And yet, yeah, the work's never done so well. We're so grateful to have you on the show today. And as, as you know, and I'm continuing to help build this culture where being authentic and being vulnerable as a leader has been something that has been sort of shunned. We're supposed to be have it all together. We're supposed to be hard and tough and not have any issues so we can be there for everyone else. And you and I both know that's all BS and, and I know that inside out as a leader. I know it inside out from working with leaders that, you know, the more pressure, the more we take on, the more it is important that we do our own work. And so the essence of this show is really about not just showcasing how amazing you are, but also getting to know you better as a human being and getting to learn more about how you got to where you are.
So this first segment is about diving deeper into the past.
So this is an invitation for you to speak to the reader, to the listeners here about who you've been and what's happened. And you know, as a psychologist, I can't resist going into childhood stuff and looking deep. So as much as you're comfortable, I'd love you to just open up about what it used to be like, for you.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: Yeah, thank you. Thank you for asking. And I would love to go there. You know, I'll go back to when I was young. As a child, I had severe social anxiety.
So that's why it's kind of crazy that I'm doing the work that I'm doing now.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: Podcasts and TV shows.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Totally, totally. Yeah, I, you know, I had such severe social anxiety, and my nickname was Mouse. Growing up, like, I never said a word until high school. Yeah, I was very, very quiet child. I spent a lot of time reading. My first form of escapism was books and writing. And then I got into high school and, you know, my first, one of my bestest friends became alcohol. It became a social lubricant for me, and it really helped me get the confidence to actually start socializing with other people.
And, you know, pretty quickly I got involved with a friend group that definitely was not good choice of friend group at that time. And I started using cocaine at a pretty young age, and I got addicted pretty quickly to it. So by the age of 16 years old.
[00:06:13] Speaker A: By 16.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Yeah. And so during that time in high school, you know, I spent a lot of my time with friends who were very much involved in a lot of criminal activity.
You know, I lost a lot of people in my friend group to homicide, suicide, drug overdoses, and car accidents. I got into a relationship with my drug dealer at that time, which obviously escalated things.
And, yeah, it was a very abusive relationship. And then at 20 years old, I ended up losing my best friend in a car accident. Actually wrote her eulogy. And so that I would say was like the first kind of wake up call that really got me in touch with my soul, you know, really knowing that I was on a bad trajectory at that time. And only a month later, I ended up getting pregnant with my daughter.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:07:00] Speaker B: And so during that, that same relationship. No, it was. Yeah, I had luckily just left that relationship. I wasn't with the man that I ended up having my daughter with, so I ended up having her on my own. So throughout my whole pregnancy, I was single throughout my whole pregnancy. But I got rid of my phone. Like, my daughter truly saved my life. Got rid of my phone, got rid of all my entire group of friends, and I spent all my time just reading and trying to heal myself, which is, we know, of course, can't heal on your own, but at that time, you know, I didn't really know what to do.
[00:07:31] Speaker A: And that was early 20s.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: This was. I was 20 years old when I got pregnant with my daughter.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: And that's sort of also the beginning of your awakening.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: The beginning, yeah, the intellectual part. Yeah, the wanting to change. I would say that that was the beginning of me seeing that I was on a bad path and wanting to sincerely change. And yeah, I spent a lot of my time reading self help books, a lot of Christian books at that time, because my, my family was Christian, is Christian. And so I was pulling books off my dad's bookshelf and I just really wanted to heal. I really wanted to get on a better path. And so I had my daughter. Obviously she's been the greatest blessing of my entire life.
And yeah, I really wish I could say that my life changed for the better from then on, but it really didn't because I didn't do any of the deeper healing work. I didn't focus on my trauma, right. Like, I just tried to support, suppress everything and mask everything, kind of live above it, totally change my behavior, you know, all of that. But I didn't really get to the root of my issues.
And so sure enough, in my 20s, you know, old habits die hard. And I ended up getting in a relationship with a man who at the time I really thought was like my dream man. You know, I couldn't tell the difference at that time.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: And this is now. You are like your daughter's young.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: She was, I. This would be my mid-20s. Yeah. When I, when I met this man. And so, you know, I couldn't tell the difference at that time between like actual physical attraction or just like stress arousal.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: Right.
[00:09:01] Speaker B: And it felt familiar. Like that was the type of relationships that I was very much used to getting into and just that excitement, right, and being treated like an absolute queen. Like, it just felt like an absolute queen.
And initially it was, but it shifted very, very quick in that relationship. We moved very fast. So I moved in with him, you know, pretty early on in that relationship and there were a lot of red flags, but I did choose to ignore them.
Looking back now, you know, they were very obvious, but at that time I didn't want to see them.
And yeah, it turned into a horror movie pretty much.
And within, yeah, about six months into the relationship, it got pretty violent. We drank a lot together, so it was really fun. At first, I never thought that I would struggle with alcohol the way that I did because in my teen years it was cocaine, so I didn't think alcohol would be an issue. And so we drank a lot together. And he, you know, he struggled with his own demons. So he was a war veteran. He did two tours in Afghanistan.
And so I knew going into that relationship that he still battled with ptsd. He still battled with his death.
And so, yeah, let's just.
[00:10:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Take a breath. Slow it down. Thank you so much, first of all, for being so vulnerable and open and honest. And, you know, I am no, no stranger to all of this as a trauma, trauma reprocessing specialist and therapist. This is, you know, sadly, all too common out there. So I'm hopeful that already other listeners can. Can relate to what Alyssa's bringing forward. And also, as you're going to hear as we keep moving through the show. Yeah. Just what happens when you actually do choose to show up and you learn how to turn that crap into fertilizer, as I like to say.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: So as we look deeper at this. Yeah. The whole thing. When you said I used to be called Mouse, that really. That hit me just of a sense of, like, obviously, I know that's not your source codes. I know that's not your original programming to be quiet.
You don't have to go into any kind of deep detail, but just a little bit of, like, how did Mouse get programmed into you? Why so quiet, so young?
Was there alcoholism in your family before?
[00:11:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. I often resonate very much with kind of the archetype of the invisible child when I look back at it. And, you know, alcoholism definitely runs very deep on both sides of my family. Neither of my parents drive rank.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: Oh, wow. So in the other generations.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Other generations, yeah. And that's why it was so important for me to start actually diving into the. The generational healing work. Because, you know, often what happens, you know, when we look at lineage mirroring, so we can either take on, you know, the same patterns or, like, qualities of our parents or sometimes flip flop
[00:11:50] Speaker A: and work hard to not be them.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Totally, like, completely. Completely reject it and become the polar opposite. But often we're still not healing that wound when we do that. And so my parents, you know, great people, I love them to death. They had very difficult childhoods, both of them. And so there was addiction on both sides of my family. The women on my mum's side as well, got into the same types of relationships that I got in. So that was also a pattern that was very much there.
And, yeah, so neither of my parents drank and there was never alcohol in our home. So I definitely.
I rebelled. You know, I went from being this, like, invisible child, this very much good girl archetype, and the good girl archetype got me in trouble in high school, you know, and I Didn't know how to say no. I was a people pleaser and not being able to say no in relationships got me in a lot of trouble. And so I learned it is not safe to be the good girl. And so then I took on this rebel role and very much, you know, rejected all authoritarianism.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: And there comes the alcohol, the bad boys, all that, right?
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah, wow. Listen, you've put so much in the field already from, you know, Mouse the invisible child to substance abuse, multi generational patterns. So, you know, we are gonna have to take a break here, but I'm so excited to keep learning because this is, this is exciting, this is juicy to see how does someone that goes through that end up sitting here in Costa Rica as a prominent social media person and healer and everything. So please stay tuned, everyone. When we get back, we're going to dive deeper into Alyssa's story here on Lead With Heart on NOW Media tv.
We'll be right back with more insight stories and practices to help you be from your whole self. This is Lead With Heart on NOW Media Television.
Leadership isn't just about decisions. It's about presence, compassion and courage.
I'm Dr. Jesse Hanson, somatic psychologist and healer. And on Lead With Heart we explore what happens when we lead with awareness, compassion and the body in mind.
From brain health to relational intelligence, from trauma informed leadership to embodied teams, each episode reveals a deeper way to lead.
Lead With Heart is airing now on NOW Media tv. Because the greatest leaders don't just guide people, they awaken them.
And we're back. I'm Dr. Jesse Hanson and you're watching Lead with Heart on Now Media Television. Let's continue embracing leadership with presence and purpose.
We're back here on Lead With Heart. And just to make sure you guys know how easy it is to stay in touch with myself and all the other great Now Media shows. You can download the Now Media app on Apple TV, Roku, iOS, Android. We're also on all the great podcast formats for streaming. So please stay connected to NOW Media TV and Lead With Heart. We've got you covered.
And now I'm going to bring us back to this deep conversation with Alyssa Stephenson. Thank you again for being here. You brought so much juicy vulnerability right into the space right away. And I also just remind everyone, part of the core themes here is that vulnerability begets vulnerability. And when anyone has the courage to be vulnerable, it helps all of us do the same. So I hope that what Alyssa's sharing is already starting to help you think deeper about who you are. And how you lead in your life. So with that in our hearts, let's learn. Alyssa's left of all, left us off with this pretty intense story where you're now in your mid-20s. You're realizing, holy crap, I've kind of created a mess here.
Being the rebel didn't turn out to be as fun as it seemed to be or promised to be. So help our. Help our listeners understand. Yeah. Where does your story take you from there? And what do you. How are you creating yourself now?
[00:15:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, where we left off was. Yeah. Entering into that relationship in my mid-20s.
And at the time, I couldn't see it because, you know, upside down was right side up. Like, my whole reality was very much distorted. I couldn't see what was actually going on.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: Not to mention, if you're drinking, it distorts even further. Right. You've got an abusive partner. So.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: Because I can't really fully remember, like, what happened the day before.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: You were a mom of a young child, which is no easy feat.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:16:11] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, he had a tendency when he drank to pull weapons out. So there were times where I would wake up with him sitting on my chest with a gun to his head, multiple times where I would be in the fetal position there for eight hours straight with a gun, knife. My life was threatened. It was terrifying.
And a lot of physical abuse. I would miss weeks of work because of black eyes, busted lips. And I lied to everyone in my life about it. You know, I lied to my family. No one really knew what was going on. They figured I was still struggling, obviously, with addictions. That's just what they assumed. They didn't know what was actually going on in that relationship. And I didn't know that he was even messaging people, you know, saying that he was just trying to help me, that I was struggling with addiction. You know, he was manipulating very much. Yeah. Yeah. So I couldn't see it at that time. And. And, you know, long story short, four years later, I'm, you know, living in a home where there is cameras all over the house, there's a tracker on my vehicle.
And, you know, looking back in hindsight, I ended up having a bad fall and I broke my right tib and fib, and that ended up being the greatest blessing. You'll understand why in a minute. So I end up in. And I badly sprained my left ankle at the same time, so I couldn't walk. So I ended up in a wheelchair for a month. And so throughout that whole relationship, I really Believed that the whole issues in our relationship was because of me and because of my drinking. And of course that didn't help. Right. So I do take responsibility for that, but I couldn't see his part and I was always covering for him and ending up in that wheelchair and being in that house with him, it finally made me realize the extent, Extent of the abuse because I couldn't actually even physically stand up to defend myself. Right. So that was a huge wake up call.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: I love that too, of that. That theme of, you know, something happens in the body that seems bad, like you broke your bone, but it actually turned out to be a blessing because it shook things up enough for you to start to see.
[00:18:14] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I was. Fail had been lifted all of a sudden. Right.
And it was shocking at first, like realizing, whoa, like what I'm actually living in, Like, I gotta get out of here. And at that point, my addiction spiraled even more. Like, he would go to work, I would order alcohol to the home. I had to have alcohol in my system 247 because the withdrawal symptoms were so unbearable and the suicidal thoughts were so intense. Like, yeah, wow. So anyways, I, yeah, in that wheelchair, I knew I had to leave. So I knew once I got out of that wheelchair, I was going to leave the relationship. I did. And so when that, when I was able to walk again, I did leave. I left with nothing. I left with no belongings. I moved into an empty apartment with literally no furniture. And like within a couple weeks later, I ended up losing my job.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: So complete devastation.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Complete everything you thought you had burned, which was good in the big picture, but I'm sure intense in the moment.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: Very much right. Like you can't see. See, you can't see it when you're in it. So. And then I also wrote my car off at that time too. So I had no vehicle, no job. I'm living in an empty apartment with like no belongings.
And so I stayed sober for a little bit. I had one more relapse, one more week bender.
And during that week bender, I ended up waking up in the backseat of my car. It was minus 40.
And this was actually on my 31st birthday.
So the day, the night, my 31st birthday. So the night before, I had been drinking. I couldn't get out of my vehicle. I was in the backseat of my vehicle.
And so I stayed there all night. Luckily, I left the car running and I thought I was dying. I really thought I was dying.
And so I ended up calling my brother in the morning. I was there all Night long. And I'm like, I can't get out of my car. And he's like, hey, you really just need to, like, try to make it home. And tried to make it into your vehicle. Like, I didn't know where I was. I don't know how I made it home. Drove home, made it home. Still took me a couple hours to get out of my vehicle.
[00:20:14] Speaker A: Right where it's like, how did that. How did I stay protected in this chaos?
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Totally. Totally.
So I ended up making it back into my house, into my apartment, and I ended up calling my dad because I was really scared that I was going to jump out my apartment window because the suicidal thoughts were so intense. And so the withdrawal was so unbearable. Like, I didn't see any way out but to end my life. I'm like, I can't stop drinking. I don't want to drink anymore, but there's no other way out. And so I called my dad. I'm like, I'm really scared. I'm going to jump outside my apartment window. And so he's crying and he's praying on the phone, and he's heading over. And I walked back and forth between the window and my bed multiple times, and it was terrifying.
So I have one voice in my head telling me to jump out my apartment window. And then I have another voice just saying, alyssa, just wait a little bit longer. Just wait a little bit longer.
And so I ended up finally surrendering to that voice that said, just wait a little bit longer. Lie down on my bed. And then all of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace wash over my body, this overwhelming sense of unconditional love.
And all of a sudden, like, that voice that was telling me to jump out the window disappeared. It was gone. And I knew at that moment I was never going to touch alcohol again.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: And I didn't. And you didn't. I never touched it again.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Miracle. Truth tingles.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: Take a moment with that. That's big. That's really big.
Wow. So that's obviously a massive life change and helped me understand. So, okay, so at that point, now you're early 30s, you're really starting to clean up, both physically and spiritually.
Help us understand the path of healer coming into your life and the feminine power and all of that.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: Yeah. So that was the beginning of a very intense spiritual awakening.
So after that day, you know, the spiritual experiences were very intense, overwhelming. And all of a sudden, I just had the spiritual opening at that time. So not only did I Get sober. But all of a sudden, I'm having these very intense spiritual experiences, which is all very new to me. And I'm so grateful for that because it really carried me through the darkest period of my life, because I started going through just an absolute debilitating illness for, you know, the next year and a half. So I ended up getting a job.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: The body way of saying, like, you actually don't get to get away with all that stuff you did to me
[00:22:43] Speaker B: totally for 20 years. Yeah. You know, it's like, often these symptoms are suppressed, and then it's like when you're in an environment where you actually do feel a little bit safer, all of a sudden they start to surface. And that's exactly what I started experiencing.
And so I ended up having a job for a few months, But I was so sick. Like, it was a sales job. I'd be driving to work. I'd have to pull over, like, in between sales calls, like, because I was in so much pain and I was nauseous. I'd be throwing. Throwing up outside the vehicle.
I lost a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. Horrible migraine headaches, horrible body pain. Like, it was awful. And so I lost that job. And so I knew, like, my soul knew at that time that it was saying, alyssa, you got to focus on healing. Like, even if it's going to be financially difficult right now, you got to focus on healing.
And. Yeah. And so very synchronistically enough, you know, I didn't have any money. I didn't have any help at that time. I had no one to go to. So I started going to the library and just, like, getting books and trying to research how to heal myself.
And I ended up coming across a video online. You know, when the student is ready, the. The teacher appears. And it was Peter Levine.
And I ended up hearing of the book Waking the Tiger. And so I bought this book, and I just had chills because it finally made sense what I was expecting, experiencing,
[00:24:02] Speaker A: like, even down to the nausea and every. All the physical symptoms. Right.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: Everything.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: And for you guys who don't know, Peter Levine is a psychologist, and he's considered one of the fathers of somatic psychology, which is my specialty. Alyssa's your. Your specialty as well. And so, yeah, just the principle of that. We are holding it all in our body, and if we don't understand that and learn how to move through it, we're going to pay the price. So. So this is, as I'm understanding now, so this is where you're really starting to awaken in the next level levels and start to dedicate not only your personal life to healing, but your professional path starts to take this shape too.
[00:24:34] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, this is the beginning of it.
So, yeah, I'll. I'll continue from there. The, the part that resonated the most with me in that book was when he was talking about the lioness chasing the herd of impala and how when they're running, they have. They're in fight or flight, right? So they have all that energy, that life force energy coursing through their body. And when they feel like they can't escape, they will drop to the ground and go into the immobility response so that they don't feel the perpetual pain of being ripped apart. And often what happens is the lioness will go get the cubs to show them how to finish making the kill, and the impala will actually get up out of the immobility response. They'll shake. So they'll finish that energy discharge cycle and then they return to the herd.
And so that made so much sense to me because obviously in that relationship I was constantly in life threatening moments, right. Where all that energy was trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go. And so it just started to make so much sense from there.
[00:25:34] Speaker A: Yeah, again, yeah, you're just bringing so much, so much beautiful vulnerability here, Alyssa. And yeah, I'm starting to see that, what I like to call the lotus, which is how we make the crap out of, into fertilizer, how we turn something that feels so awful into something beautiful.
So I already started to get a glimpse of how that's happening for you. And I also just want to quickly acknowledge how it was through the body, both through the broken leg and then through the sickness or the body symptoms that instead of just what I often see as the traditional medical model is, oh, this is a problem in my body. This is a thing I need to go treat this way. And yeah, there is value to that and there's sometimes a place for it, but so often it is interconnected to our emotions, as Peter Levine knows, as you know now, as I know now. And so I just, yeah, I love to continually be reminded of that. Even though I do this for a living and it's 25 years on the path now, I just get a thrill every time I hear the next story where, you know, the person is using the body symptomology to listen to it as a teacher rather than than run from it or numb it or try to chop it out, you know, So I so appreciate you bringing that, Alyssa.
When we come back from this break, we're going to dive deeper into how you actually have done this transformational work and help our viewers understand really what you're up to now in your life as the amazing human that you are.
So thanks for being here. Thank you guys for listening. Stay tuned for more lead with heart. I'm Dr. Jesse Hansen. We'll see you soon.
We'll be right back with more insight stories and practices to help you be from your whole self. This is Lead with Hart on NOW Media Television.
Leadership isn't just about decisions. It's about presence, compassion and courage.
I'm Dr. Jesse Hanson, somatic psychologists and healer. And on Lead with Heart, we explore what happens when we lead with awareness, compassion and the body in mind.
From brain health to relational intelligence, from trauma informed leadership to embodied teams, each episode reveals a deeper way to lead.
Lead With Heart is airing now on NOW Media tv. Because the greatest leaders don't just guide people, they awaken them.
And we're back. I'm Dr. Jesse Hansen, and you're watching Lead with Heart on Now Media Television. Let's continue embracing leadership with presence and purpose.
We're back on Lead With Heart. I'm your host, Dr. Jesse Hanson. In this segment, we're going to unpack Alyssa's story even deeper. We're going to really look at the process of transformation, which I lovingly call the lotus, or learning how to grow lotuses.
And Alyssa and I are both in the healing world. We are both in the psychotherapeutic world, and we are both gifted and versed in the world of trauma and particularly somatics. And for viewers, if you don't know somatics, it's the word soma. S O m a.
The word soma is S o m a from Latin, which means body. So everything about learning how to feel and listen through the body is what we love to talk about. So I want to lean into that and open up, feel what feels good. How did you get out of this mess? And, you know, and how has your practice of embodiment really helped you learn that?
[00:28:58] Speaker B: Totally. I see this whole experience as like my apprenticeship. Right. Like, really, I had to go through that so I could actually understand what other people were going through when they're experiencing something similar. So I could hold space for that. Right. It's one thing to understand intellectually, but it's a whole other thing to actually have lived it, lived it and experienced it, and being able to alchemize and transform it And I really see what I went through as, you know, just, I was this, I like to connect to this archetype of like this ultimate trauma alchemist that I really feel connected to. And, you know, it's one thing to read the book about waking the tiger and intellectually understand it. It's a whole other thing to actually do the work. And you really have to, to be consistent with doing the semantic work. Right. Like, it does take time. The mind is quick, the body is
[00:29:41] Speaker A: slow, and I feel like also in the world there, it's, it's so easy to find the traditional therapeutic interventions of cognitive behavioral therapy books, intellect.
To your point, it's not only you have to be consistent, you have to actually know where to find that, that, that whether it's a psychologist or healer or retreat or whatever. Right. It's like admitting that the somatic work is still, ironically, it is the ancient work. It is the way that all of our ancient ancestors knew healing happened through movement, through embodiment, through offerings, doing things. It's only become in the last maybe 50 to 100 years that we've started to think healing happens by talking, you know, So I just love that you're bringing that home. So, yeah. How did this happen for you?
[00:30:26] Speaker B: Yeah, so initially I read that, and then I ended up coming across a man named Steven Jaegers online.
He owns, he's the founder of Somatic Breathwork. So I actually tried this breathwork session online and it was the first time that I was actually able to get out of my head and back into my body. And that was just really transformative for me. And then I actually started to do these somatic practices and I was noticing a huge difference. At first this was all on my own. The idea of healing in communication community was like paralyzing to me. I couldn't even imagine with social anxiety.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Mouse.
[00:31:00] Speaker B: Totally, totally.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: No way.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah. So I was like, I don't know if I could do that, but I knew I needed it because I was so much in isolation, you know, throughout my whole healing process. And then the pandemic happened and all of that. Right. So I knew I needed to be around humans. Like, I couldn't do this on my own. Eventually got to that point, so I actually went to my first in person breath work session and I physically felt my heart crack open during that session. And this woman held me while I cried in her arms.
And was that ever transformative?
The only thing after that session, because it was such an intense breathwork session, it was like a two hour long, very Intense breathing. It was too much for my nervous system at that time.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: So too much, too fast.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: Too much, too fast. So, interesting enough, I ended up actually all of a sudden having these suicidal thoughts come back. But at this point, I knew what was. I understood what was happening. I'm like, oh, there's this part that has been suppressed in me that's all of a sudden coming up to the surface, because that was obviously too intense. And so then I ended up going and working with a somatic practitioner. And I did many sessions with her. She was also trained in ifs work.
Wow. Did that ever help me. Like, it was completely transformative. I felt like a completely different person by the time I was done those sessions with her.
[00:32:19] Speaker A: If you guys don't know ifs internal family systems, it's basically just the understanding that we are one human body, but we have many different parts inside of us, tons of different neural networks. And so that's what Alyssa's referencing and saying. In other words. Yeah, the cracking open in your heart with the breath work, and then the more clinical follow up, getting a chance to really discover who are all my crazy kids, who are all these people in here that I've been suppressing. Right?
[00:32:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: Okay, so the picture's starting to get clearer. You're now making progress in that, and you're starting to truly do some deeper healing work. Heal yourself.
Tell me how. Yeah, from that, how do you start to step into the role of actual healer and being of service to others?
[00:33:01] Speaker B: Totally. Well, first of all, I completely devoted myself to. To this path. Like, completely devoted myself to this work. At the same time, during, like, these years of my healing, I did not date.
Like, I took a huge step back from dating. I chose a path of celibacy for a very long time because I knew I needed to focus on healing. And I was also still going through a spiritual awakening during this time too. Right.
So one thing kind of led to another, and I felt like I was very much divinely guided this whole time time to the right people, the right teachers. And not only did I devote myself to the healing path, my own inner work, but also a lot of extensive trainings in somatics and parts work.
And I ended up going to that somatic breath work that the virtual one that I did online. I ended up going to their training in Austin, Texas. And so that was super powerful. I was able to really connect with my own anger.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: Oh, nice.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: And so that just being able to really connect with my own healthy assertion, my own healthy aggression, it really helped me Start stepping forwards into my purpose. Like, I just was able to access this sense of empowerment.
[00:34:08] Speaker A: No more mouse.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: No more mouse. No more mouse. Yeah. The anger really helped me transform that for sure. And I ended up. I now still work for this company, Somatic Breathwork, so. Which is really cool because he was one of my mentors and my teachers, so that's just been an absolute.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: And how long ago was that, Alyssa? Roughly.
[00:34:26] Speaker B: Gosh. This was in 2023 that I took that training. Yeah.
[00:34:30] Speaker A: So it's wild to just. Yeah. Take a pause on that for a second. Of, like, wow, you've shared your whole stories. Decades of crap. Decades of living pretty unconsciously.
And to hear that, really, it's only been two or three years that you've really made this shift. And we're going to learn more in a moment here. But of just, like, what your life is like now, to me, that's just very inspiring. And hopefully for you guys, too, to hear that, like, these changes can happen quickly when we're really dedicated to doing the deeper work and looking not just in our mind, but in our hearts, in our guts, with everything that we're holding, right.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Absolutely. Well, it's not like being in therapy for, you know, talk therapy for decades, and you don't get anywhere because you keep focusing on the story. Story. You know, I was really able to transform, you know, what I had experienced into something good, into purpose. Because I do believe that, like, that next step to healing is not just focusing on doing your own inner work and your healing, but actually turning that into a gift for the world, like turning those wounds into wisdom and actually being of service. And that was a strong calling for me. Like, I knew in my soul that I was meant to do something with this work. I knew that there. There was a purpose for me going through all of that, that I was meant to step into something bigger. And I felt fully supported the whole way through. Like, just the teachers coming into my life, even meeting you, like, being on this show, like, you've been a huge part of that and, you know, just being devoted to our own healing work, what I have really, truly learned is that the doors will open. Doors will open that you cannot force. When you devote yourself to this work and when you are truly, you know, an embodiment of what you preach, then the rest will be taken care of. I'm sure you've experienced similar things on your path.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: Absolutely. Oh, yeah. I'm just getting so much good feelings inside listening to you, because it's. Yeah. It just continues to validate what I know, what I've been studying for 20 years, what I've been living for 20 years now. And it's just. Yeah. As I'm listening to, just reminding me that as smart as we are and whatever it is, there's no other way around it. Even the smartest people on the planet, there's something to be said for doing that inner work and stepping into realms that we aren't so comfortable with. Right. Just like you, you weren't comfortable even stepping out into community for healing. You weren't comfortable with breath work, but you kept pushing those edges, pushing those limits, and that's brought you to here. So tell me now. Okay, so you're really hoping to bring it all full circle as we sit here now. You ended up in this chair, obviously, because we have connected and become colleagues, and you've created this beautiful podcast. You're now in a somatic practitioner role.
Tell our guests just a little bit more of, like, yeah, what is your practice today? And like, what. What are you up to?
[00:37:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know, like I said, it's really important to, you know, turn these wounds into wisdom and to be of service. Service and to carry that message on.
And creativity is so healing. Like, being able to transmute that into some sort of creative expression and stepping into the role of service, a lot comes up on the way. Right. It's like you can do all this healing work, but stepping into entrepreneurship and into a role of a healer, all your wounds are going to surface again. And it's like every single time, time that you hit that next level that you're going to shatter that glass ceiling, all those crazy kids, all those parts will come up to the surface again. You'll have to work through that. And I knew if I could get through what I went through and was able to, you know, within years, just a few years, get to the point where I was at, there is nothing that I couldn't accomplish. Like, I just knew that, and I knew how to work through that. So, you know, using what I had gone through during my healing process and my recovery process, using that in business, just knowing that, you know, I have to expand my capacity for visibility. I have to expand my capacity for rejection.
[00:38:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:28] Speaker B: You know, conscious communication, like, all of that. Right. It's relationships, romantic relationships, and business will bring up all of your wounds. Right?
[00:38:36] Speaker A: That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As you said, that part of how to get. Get more comfortable with. With. I don't remember the word you use, but being seen.
Thinking back to mouse, how Powerful, that is. And I'm wondering if you can even just kind of sense her right now and, like, you know, obviously you are no longer mousy, but those memories are still there.
She knows what you're up to. She. She feels you. Right. And. Yeah, what's that like? To just notice her inside right now and let her see what you're doing.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: And she just feels so proud, like, so proud.
Really, truly, it's surreal.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: And she gets to enjoy now that you are able to be seen and witnessed and appreciated.
[00:39:20] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, just the whole visibility piece, like speaking on camera, having my own podcast, and being invited onto other podcasts, that was huge for me. Like, I had a lot of doors open, really incredible opportunities, you know, over the past few years that have really helped me accelerate. I came a long way in a very short period of time. Like, it's only been a few years. And that was also through really incredible humans who saw my potential. And I had really great opportunities to be featured on, you know, a whole podcast series that was a global 1% podcast, 30 episodes on that one, which really helped me grow and really step into visibility, which was obviously difficult for me. I also had really incredible opportunities to lead other group groups of, you know, hundreds of people virtually in other communities. And all of that prepped me for my own business. Right. For stepping into my own leadership role.
Yeah.
[00:40:23] Speaker A: Well, thank you for letting us see you today. Today we're going to take a quick break, and when we get back, we're going to dive deeper into the wisdom that is brewing within this conversation that we can all learn from. So stay tuned. We'll be back soon on Lead with Heart.
We'll be right back with more insight stories and practices to help you be from your whole self. This is Lead With Heart on NOW via television.
Leadership isn't just about decisions. It's about presence, compassion, and courage.
I'm Dr. Jesse Hanson, somatic psychologist and healer, and on Lead with Heart, we explore what happens when we lead with awareness, compassion, and the body in mind.
From brain health to relational intelligence, from trauma informed leadership to embodied teams, each episode reveals a deeper way to lead.
Lead with Heart is airing now on NOW Media tv. Because the greatest leaders don't just guide people, they awaken them.
And we're back. I'm Dr. Jesse Hansen, and you're watching Lead with Heart on Now Media Television. Let's continue embracing leadership with presence and purpose.
Hello. We're here on Lead with Heart and just want to remind everyone how easy it is to stay in touch with us, you can download the Now Media app on Apple, Roku, iOS, Android. We're on all the major podcast streaming platforms. We've got you covered not just with Lead With Heart, but all sorts of great shows on NOW Media. So check it out. And while we're here, we're going to check in with Alyssa Stephenson one last time. In this final segment, we're going to be looking at the wisdom that can be extracted from what Alyssa has been sharing with us today.
One of the first pieces that comes is that, you know, I've been in this industry 25 years, and I myself, I've opened up a lot on media as well about my shadow and my past substance abuse and all sorts of challenges. And I have my stuff, no doubt. And I also acknowledge that though I do believe and I always challenge people, we all have trauma. There is different magnitude and frequency of what has happened.
And I humbly admit, while I have my stuff, my story stales in comparison to some of the stuff you just shared. And I've seen this others with, you know, and the wisdom in it for me is that you said it yourself, it's one thing to go to someone that's got the degree and they've read all the books and they know how to say the words. It's another thing to sit with someone who's actually lived through it and who's actually walking the talk.
[00:42:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:42:56] Speaker A: And the wisdom that I extract from that is that even when I meet with people, like, even if we had met years before I met you and you were still in all of that, it's like, wow, if you're willing to do the work, you have the potential to be one of the most amazing humans and healers on this planet. Because to go to hell and get back is no easy feat. And like you said, you mentioned that. Right. You knew, because what you had gone through in your 20s and early 30s, you have so much belief and confidence and faith that you can do whatever you want to do now.
So I appreciate you living that wisdom, and I would love for you to. Yeah. Just talk about what other wisdom you have and how you're applying that now, what is up in your current life and how you are of service.
[00:43:38] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, one of the. The things that I hear often, I've had the opportunity to, you know, work with hundreds of women over the past few years and support them on their healing journey and also helping them step into service roles himself. Because many people come to me and they're like, how did you do that like in such a short period of time, it's pretty unbelievable. And so I've been able to support them in that process. And one thing that I get back often is how I'm able to speak their internal world, their internal experience, like put it into words for them that they've really struggled with. Like they feel so deeply seen and understood. And I would say I'm really, really good at explaining really complex topics in a really simple, practical way. I love to give very practical tools so that people can actually apply, you know, all this to their lives and actually start to move forward and not to feel stuck in certain areas.
[00:44:35] Speaker A: And there's that you showing up from transitioning from mouse into the mighty. It's like that's what you're giving them, right? Is like, like in that moment of you offering that, you're giving them that ability to be seen and heard.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And you know, I've grown my virtual community, my online community pretty rapidly over the past few years. And I can say one thing that was not from, was from blueprints and strategies. And I invested a lot of money working with business mentors who would be like, follow this blueprint, follow this strategy that did not work for me. And as soon as I tossed that to the side and really connected to
[00:45:10] Speaker A: my own soul and just be authentic
[00:45:13] Speaker B: and be authentic to what I meant to be doing here. Like, I know that women are powerful co creators, we are very intuitive. I know what I'm meant to be doing. I have to listen to that voice. And as soon as I started tapping into that, my Instagram started taking off. So it grew pretty rapidly. My podcast grew really rapidly. I offer virtual programs. So online program.
I have a 12 week program that I'm actually just in the middle of right now. Ancestral Alchemy. All about transforming these inherited wounds into wisdom, into gifts. You know, I have other licensed professionals going through that program, completely blown away by it. And it is so unique, like it is different from anything else on the market. And I, you know, I've been part of so many different programs. I've invested so much over the years as a recipient. So it's basically, you know, a compilation of all of this work that I have devoted my life to into this program. So you know, parts work, Animus Earth honoring practices, which I feel is missing a lot in a lot of programs. Somatics, Family Constellations, Therapy. It's truly, truly transformational.
Yeah. And then I have another program coming up as well called In Service.
So it's all about Feminine leadership and stepping into visibility and, you know, building your capacity to be seen, to be authentic, to, you know, build your capacity to be with rejection. All those things that we had talked about earlier, I want to pull out
[00:46:37] Speaker A: the wisdom there of, you know, you tossed out the blueprint and the high dollar marketing strategies that you had paid for and you decided to just lead with heart, be vulnerable, be authentic, be real.
And like you said earlier, then the rest just falling into place 100%. So to me, that's powerful wisdom to consider. And I'm not going to sit here and say that would work for every single person in every scenario, but I think definitely in the business of health and wellness, the business of living a pure life. Right.
So I just really appreciate that, Alyssa. And also just to acknowledge that, yeah, I mean, going from the mouse who didn't want to be seen to the young, young girl, woman who barely could make it to a breathwork class, from social anxiety, to now, not only being seen here with me, but you have one of the top 5% podcasts in the world. That's no small feat. So well done.
[00:47:33] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: You know, and like being seen.
Yeah, yeah, really beautiful.
[00:47:39] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: And if I stand, if I'm understanding like you, you like, you just it, enjoy it, you just go on the podcast and be yourself.
[00:47:46] Speaker B: And I love it. You know, when you find something that you're so passionate about, when you find your purpose, it doesn't feel like work. And like, I could put in 16, 18 hours of day, like, of work a day, and it never feels like work. Like, I never feel depleted. I just feel so energized off of this. And just even going back to, you know, you saying, like, obviously the strategy piece doesn't. Wouldn't work for everyone throwing out the strategy. Of course not.
More so what I'm trying to say is, like, there's no one blueprint for everybody. And you have to find your own unique strategies, whatever you want to call them, Right. To really step into this work, it's going to be unique to every single individual. And that's what I'm really good at pulling out. Like, I'm really good at helping people find their own energetic essence and their own expression and their own magnetism, because it really is about stepping into magnetism and calling those people in because you're expressing yourself from your own original soul blueprint, you know, not just this blueprint that someone else gave you to follow.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, no, I love it. And yeah, I guess the other one other quick wisdom piece I want to extract from all your sharing. I was just reflecting on how Even though at 20, you kind of started to realize I wanted to change, but still at 30, 31, you were still, you had gotten into another crappy relationship and all this, but all the roughly 10 or 11 years, you were reading the right books, you were doing a lot of the right things. And of course, there were still some, you know, maladaptations in there. And yet, I guess, yeah, to me, that's the continued wisdom which I continue to know. And yet every time I feel it, it has value to me is just reminding our viewers that, yeah, you know, we can read every book we want. We can talk, talk through everything. We can sort of live in our head about it. But it's not until you, Alyssa, started doing the more heart centered work, breath work, deeper ceremonial work, deeper transformational work that has to do with, and this is what I'm constantly annoying people about, is you gotta be willing to move. You gotta be willing to literally realize that the body is holding all of this past crap. And no matter how many affirmations you write or how many, you know, candles you light, it's not going to clear until you actually go through those processes. So.
I know I. I know, I know this. I know you know this. I wonder if there's anything here, as we get toward the end of the show that you want to say your own version of wisdom around that, of just the potency of what's shifted for you and, you know, choosing to get out of your head.
[00:50:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Into your body. Yeah, let's just really feel into that.
And, you know, that's something that I keep going back to during this path because it could be very easy, you know, stepping into entrepreneurship and disconnecting from your heart, getting out of your body into your mind. It can be very easy to do that and to get stuck there. And that's never been where I have found the answers. It just never has been. And sometimes that does require taking a little bit of space to process and digest and not constantly be pushing and moving forward.
Right. And like focusing on the next thing and like constant expansion. We do need to go through periods of contraction before we can expand. We do need periods of just really going inward and taking the time to integrate, you know, just even the lessons on our path in our business that we're learning and processing them before we can actually see the next step forward.
[00:51:11] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. And the only way through to do that is to, like, slow down from the mind and come into the heart, come into the body. Right. So, wow. No, there's so much more here we could go on, but unfortunately, we do have to wrap here in a few minutes, so I want to make sure. Alyssa, can you please let us let our viewers know how they keep in touch with you? They want to learn more about what you're doing.
[00:51:31] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. The best place is to follow me on Instagram at Wild Feminine Rise.
My podcast, Body Wisdom Rising. I share so much just incredible medicine on that podcast and have incredible guests. You've been a guest on that show as well, so those would be the best places. And I'm always sharing on Instagram my different offerings that I have coming up. They shift throughout the year.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: And you mentioned in service is a new.
[00:51:54] Speaker B: That'll be a new one that I'm launching in probably right when this podcast episode is released. So, yeah, you can find that on Instagram. I'll have the details there.
[00:52:02] Speaker A: Okay. Amazing. Amazing. Wow. Well, geez. Yeah, I'm gonna just take a quick recap for myself and viewers moving from, you know, the. The mousy childhood with multigenerational layers of substance abuse and other. I guess I would have to imagine, even though the parents weren't drinking, if a kid is mousy, it's because they don't feel safe to speak up and. Or they just want to be so good. Right. So feel into that origin stories, then move into the rebel late adolescence, early early 20s, into this woman who goes a bit wild and gets some tough learning lessons from that. And you know that the scary things you've moved through into then this sort of. I know I need to heal, but don't really know how to do it. And to now, just the last three years, really this, like, radical awakening and shift. So to me, I don't know, I just love to hear that quickly over again because it's inspiring and it's touching and it's. And especially that ending part where it's like, wow, all this stuff came together to bring you to where you are now. And you're absolutely incredible human and healer. And I can't thank you enough for coming on the show, being so honest and open.
So thank you so much for being here.
[00:53:08] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. Yeah, it's been a pleasure.
[00:53:11] Speaker A: Absolutely. And thank you to everyone for tuning in. We will be back on further episodes of Leave With Heart with other great stories of authenticity, vulnerabilities, and wisdom coming at you from now. Media tv. This is Lead With Heart signing off.
